Broken Mama: Eating Alone In My Car And Praying

23 February, 2013 Leave a comment, you know you want to!
Broken-Mama

The door slammed behind me and I breathed in a wave of cold air. The shock of it felt good. Walking out felt good. I got in the car, put my belt on and put the keys in the ignition. Then I stopped. My hands gripped the steering wheel and I let my head drop to my chest. I knew that if I rested my head on the wheel like I wanted to, I'd break down in tears; but I also knew that I couldn't drive off yet. Although I was in a completely emotional whirlwind, and my adrenalin was still pumping, thankfully I had enough presence of mind to know that I needed to calm down a little before driving. (Plus, if I cried, they would win. I didn't want them to break me, I wasn't giving in.) I took a few deep breaths. My heart was still racing but I was a little calmer. I turned the ... [Click Here to Continue Reading]

Life Lessons from a Blog Makeover: Be Yourself!

12 February, 2013 Leave a comment, you know you want to!
Be-Yourself

Hi guys! I hope you like the new look here on Tangerine Turtle. I've worked hard on it and am proud to say that all of the custom designing and graphics were done 100% by me! So I was sitting here this morning admiring it, (yes, really...lol) and had a few thoughts... I realised that redesigning the blog was much more than an exercise in making it look good. Why did I even feel I needed to change it? After all, it looked pretty good already. (Lots of people had told me so.) ;) Well, it turns out, that it's all part of a bigger picture. My blog is my window to the world, but it's also the world's window into me. The old design didn't really speak to my heart. I had designed it to try to appeal to as many people as possible. When I was choosing the colours, I kept asking myself questions ... [Click Here to Continue Reading]

You’re Only as Old As You Feel: And I Feel About 55!

17 October, 2012 5 interesting opinions, add yours.
Birthday cupcake

"You're only as old as you feel." I don't know who said this originally, but I think it's true. A few weeks ago, my family and I went to a birthday party for one of my husband's friends. This is a friend from work and I had never met him or his wife before. One of my daughters had a birthday party to go to at the same time at which a parent was required to attend (swimming party), so Chris and the other two girls went to their party before us and we met up with them after the swimming party. I arrived with things in full swing, feeling exhausted and not a bit social. I had a brief introduction to Chris's friend and his (beautiful) wife and quickly found one of my good friends and promptly parked myself on the sofa next to her with the kids. I like to people-watch and ... [Click Here to Continue Reading]

How Do You Remember?

11 September, 2012 Leave a comment, you know you want to!
Candles_web

This morning on my way home from the school run, I had the radio on. Regularly they have a spot where a person of faith comes on air and gives a short inspirational message. Today it was a Rabbi from the Jewish faith. She was talking about the ritual of visiting loved ones' graves during the High Holidays (the period between Yom Kippur - the Day of Atonement and Rosh Hashanah - the Jewish New Year). She told of how it is customary for Jewish people to leave pebbles on the graves when they visit instead of flowers and how the pebbles seem like little calling-cards, saying you've been there. I thought it was a lovely visual. It touched me too, because it reminded me of my grandmother who passed on three years ago in America. One of the hardest parts of living abroad is being away from ... [Click Here to Continue Reading]

Why I Couldn’t Write For Five Months

24 August, 2012 25 interesting opinions, add yours.
cold_stillness

My friends, the time has come for me to write the post that I wish I never had to write.  A few weeks ago I promised that I would share with you why I had been away from the blog for so many months. I am making good on that promise right now. This is probably the hardest thing I have ever written about. It's my dirty little secret. Only those closest to me know anything about this, and even they don't all know the extent of it.  I suffer from depression. Depression, to one degree or another, has been a part of my life since I was a teenager. I had post-natal (post-partum) depression after each of my three daughters, and in recent memory, each winter the darkness has descended upon me. This year has been particularly bad. Usually my winter depressions last from about November to ... [Click Here to Continue Reading]