What a way to start 2012!

Day 12
You are not so important that you have to win every argument.
Agree to disagree.

I actually have a different way to make this same point that works better for me.
I often tell myself:
‘It is more important to be happy, than it is to be right.’

I know that it is our natural tendency to try to convince someone when we think (or even know) that we’re right. But there comes a point in a disagreement when you can tell that the other person either can’t see your point, or maybe doesn’t want to. At that stage, you have two options:

1. Keep arguing.
2. Decide that you don’t have to win and agree to disagree.

I definitely struggle with this sometimes. I have a need for things to get wrapped up tidily and be dealt with. I don’t like disagreements to be left hanging. I need a conclusion. I need to know it’s OK. Most of the time, this is through a process of either convincing the other person of my view, or accepting theirs. But occasionally, there will be a situation where neither of these is possible. I grew up in a household with a parent who subscribed to the ‘my way or the highway’ philosophy. I internalised this, so it was no surprise that I too used to try to ‘make’ people see things my way. It took me a long time to understand that letting it go and agreeing to disagree is also an acceptable conclusion. Moving on peacefully is actually a good conclusion. But it was hard, (really hard) to learn that deciding to let it go didn’t necessarily mean I was ‘giving in’.  Once I learned this, I was so much happier. I didn’t feel angry walking away. It was liberating.

I am currently trying to teach this lesson to my daughters. They are 4, 6 and 7 1/2. As you can imagine, there are squabbles. They all want to be right. They all want to be the winner. If I can teach them this one small but incredibly important lesson, I know their lives will be so much happier and positive. They will have better relationships and feel better about themselves.

So remember….

It is more important to be happy, than it is to be right. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish in 2012 and under each one, I made an intention statement about how I would make it happen. I am proud to say that I am well on my way with one of them.

My goal:
In 2012, I will be much more outward focused and give of my time and talents to help other people.

My statement of intention:
I will find at least three opportunities to volunteer in my local and global communities.

Now, I am a great believer in the Law of Attraction, and would you believe, I made this particular goal formally (writing it down and saying it to myself), and a week later I received an email in my inbox asking me if I wanted to become a Founding Member of Mom Bloggers for Social Good.

THIS week….I had a message on my Facebook wall about the Time to Share project with Tots100!

If you’re a blogger, Time to Share will give you a fantastic opportunity to support a charity that’s close to your heart, and close to home. We’ve got some amazing charities on board already, and we’ll be offering you the chance to meet new people and make a real difference in your community. Above all, we want you to be inspired to share your experience with your readers, friends and family.

If you don’t have any free time just now, don’t worry. You can still support Time to Share by displaying one of our lovely blog badges, and telling your readers about the programme. We’d love you to let people know about how they can take part in Time to Share, and how people can find out about volunteering opportunities in their area via Time to Share. (~ from the Tots100 website)

So, you guessed it, I did it! I’m well on my way to reaching that goal, and once I do, I will extend it to give even more this year. I can’t even say I found the opportunities, they found me! All I had to do was respond. I love when things come together like that. It makes me feel like I’m definitely doing what I’m supposed to be doing right now.

So how about you? Have you made any goals and intentions for this year? Have you already made progress on any of them? Please share them with us in the comments. We can help each other get there together!

What a way to start 2012!

Day 11
Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

I think we can all say we’re guilty of this every now and then. It’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and our own perspectives and presume that everyone is just as focused on us as we are.
 

Guess what? They’re not. You want to know why? Because they’re spending their time and energy being focused on THEMSELVES!
 

Think about your first school dance or other important event. You worried didn’t you? You were afraid everyone would be looking at you and judging you? Of course, we all did… Well, OK, kids are cruel, so probably a little bit of that did happen, but mostly, they were thinking the same thing about you, wondering what you were thinking about them! I bet if we had known that then, we would have relaxed and enjoyed things a bit more, don’t you?
 

Things don’t change much when you’re older. We all still worry about what people are thinking about us, but we can relax now. We’re all in the same boat worrying about the same thing.
 

So let’s all take a moment to lighten up! Smile! Laugh! Life is too short to be so serious all the time.